A top relationship guru has revealed the behavior that could mean your romance is headed for trouble. Dr. John Gottman, happily married for 37 years and a researcher of over 3,000 couples, says he can predict divorce with 91% accuracy (Randy Shropshire/Getty Images). His take on the biggest relationship red flag is going viral, and it’s a lesson every couple needs to hear to keep their love strong.
In a Reddit thread, someone asked, “What’s an early sign a relationship won’t make it?” One person shared how their ex would roll her eyes and sigh at their jokes, unlike others who laughed. This led to a discussion about contempt, which Gottman calls a relationship’s worst enemy. He’s said, “Contempt is sulfuric acid for love,” because it destroys the trust and closeness couples rely on (Randy Shropshire/Getty Images). A quick eye-roll, as a commenter pointed out, can show disrespect in a flash.
Contempt shows up when you act like your partner’s worthless, like saying, “Oh, big surprise! Should I stay home forever?” when they suggest skipping a night out. Gottman’s years of watching couples prove this attitude can ruin even the best relationships. His wife, Dr. Julie Gottman, a skilled therapist, says contempt is so toxic because it cuts us off from the connection we need to feel whole (Randy Shropshire/Getty Images).
Julie explains that we’re wired to need love and belonging, like pack animals in a group. Contempt pushes us toward loneliness, but showing appreciation—like praising your partner’s efforts—brings you closer. Her advice is to focus on kindness to keep your bond strong, rather than letting contempt tear it apart.
To keep your relationship alive, avoid contempt like the plague. Gottman’s research shows that love thrives on respect and care, but a snarky comment or eye-roll can undo it all. Choose to lift your partner up with kind words, and you’ll build a love that lasts. This viral advice is a reminder to keep contempt out and let love in.
