The face of the modern family is changing, and with it, our understanding of what it means to be a parent. Bennett Kaspar-Williams and his husband, Malik, embarked on the journey to parenthood like many others, filled with hope and careful planning. For Bennett, a transgender man, this path involved carrying his own child. His experience of pregnancy and birth was a powerful testament to the fact that the roles of “mother” and “father” are not defined by biology, but by love and identity.
Bennett and Malik’s decision to start a family was a deliberate one. Bennett, who had been on testosterone therapy, paused his treatment to allow his body to conceive and carry a child. He successfully became pregnant, and in October 2020, welcomed their son, Hudson, via cesarean section. While the pregnancy itself was a fulfilling experience, Bennett encountered a significant social challenge: being consistently misgendered by hospital staff who defaulted to calling him “mom” and using female-centric language.
This repeated misgendering became the most difficult part of the pregnancy for Bennett. He had marked “male” on all his medical forms, yet the ingrained habits of the healthcare system proved hard to break. He described the entire institution of pregnancy care as being so “intertwined with gender that it was hard to escape.” This experience highlighted a societal lag in recognizing that the capacity for pregnancy does not equate to a female gender identity.
Since becoming a parent, Bennett has used his platform to advocate for a broader definition of family. He powerfully argues for the separation of womanhood from motherhood, pointing out that not all women can or want to be mothers, and not all people who give birth are women. His family’s story is a beautiful example of how parenthood is built on a foundation of love and commitment, not on outdated gender stereotypes. It’s a call for all of us to embrace a more inclusive view of family, where the title of “Dad” can belong to the person who gave birth, and where every parent is recognized for who they are.
