In the professional world, we are often taught to measure success by titles, salaries, and the relentless drive to achieve more. But what if the ultimate measure of a career is something entirely different? According to Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care nurse who documented the dying wishes of her patients, one of the most common regrets is directly tied to our work lives: “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” This sentiment, echoed by figures like Bill Gates, challenges the very foundation of our hustle culture and offers a crucial perspective on sustainable success.
This regret is rarely about the work itself, but about the cost of that work. Patients reflecting on their lives realized that the extra hours, the missed family dinners, and the unused vacation days had come at an irreversible price. They had burned themselves out in pursuit of professional milestones, only to find that those milestones provided little comfort at the end. A recent poll showing that 78% of American workers leave vacation days unused suggests this is a widespread modern ailment, one that many will likely come to rue.
This professional regret is deeply intertwined with the number one regret of all: not living a life true to oneself. For many, a high-pressure career was a path chosen for stability, status, or to fulfill family expectations, rather than personal passion. The “shoulds” outweighed the “wants,” leading to a life that felt inauthentic. The patients who were most at peace, Ware noted, were those who had found a way to align their work with their personal values or who had maintained clear boundaries to protect their time for joy and connection.
The other common regrets—not expressing feelings, losing touch with friends, and not choosing happiness—are often the direct casualties of an all-consuming career. When work becomes our entire identity, we suppress emotions to appear professional, we let friendships wither from neglect, and we postpone happiness for a future date that may never come. We fall into the “comfort” of a familiar routine, even as our spirit longs for more freedom and laughter.
The lesson for professionals at any stage is profound. It’s a call to redefine success to include authenticity, relationships, and well-being. It’s permission to set boundaries, to use your vacation time, and to build a career that supports your life, rather than consumes it. Let the wisdom of those who can no longer change their story inspire you to write a different one for yourself—one where your final reflection on your career is a source of peace, not regret.
